------Update------
Brady's wife, Sara, went home to be with Jesus today. Please keep Brady and his newborn daughter Chloe in your prayers, as well as their families.
---------------------
Please pray for a friend of mine, Brady Sullivan and his wife, Sarah and daughter Chloe. Brady and I grew up in the same town together, went to school together, and were in Young Life together.
His wife was diagnosed with breast cancer and has been going through Chemo throughout her entire pregnancy. They had their baby girl, Chloe, and got to go home with her. Then his wife started having seizures. She is back in the hospital and they need a miracle.
Here is the Sullivan's Blog
Please pray...
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
HeartQuest
In August, I was blessed with the opportunity to attend a Christian Retreat called HeartQuest. It is put on by an organization called Fellowship of the Sword. It was a great time to get away from the every day stuff and spend some much needed time with God.
The biggest thing I took away from it was being reminded just how much God loves us. I tend to think that God is more concerned with our character than our comfort. While I generally believe this to be true, I tend to forget that He also wants to just love us, just because. I realized that I rarely let Him love me, choosing instead to not receive it.
Without spilling all the details of what goes in to Heart Quest so as to not spoil it for others, I will share about one particular day that was very meaningful to me. One of the days is a fast day where you go into the wilderness all day by yourself and spend some time with God. Now I know to some this may sound like an awful idea, but to this Mama of two very small toddlers, a day by myself in the wilderness sounded like Heaven!
The week before I went my husband and I celebrated our 8 year anniversary. We had plans to spend the day together outdoors in God's creation and then rent kayaks exploring a local lake. Sounded like heaven to us, only the day came, it was 105 degrees and I was pregnant in my first trimester and dry heaving every 30 minutes. Suddenly, spending the day outdoors didn't sound like such a great idea after all. We ended up having a great time together and did spend a little time outside but it was not the day we originally intended with kayaks and woods to explore.
Back to fast day...I started out and prayed, asking God where He wanted me to go that day. I ended up walking down some old rocky steps that led me to the river! I got down to the bottom when lo and behold there sat a bright, red canoe just beckoning me to get in. So naturally, I did and spent a wonderful day with God exploring His wilderness by boat and by foot. He gave me some new found freedom in Him. The freedom to be different in Him, even if that meant not looking like everyone else around me. We had some reading that day to do during our fast time and a portion of it brought up one of my favorite quotes...
Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.
And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
~Nelson Mandela
He gently reminded me of who I am in Him and who He has made me to be. It was a sweet time with our God and King. I am so very thankful to Him for providing this much needed time away for renewal in my relationship with Him!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Hope
I'm not sure why I always get writer's block when I try to write on here. Sometimes I have alot to share, sometimes life seems easy going.
Lately I have been struck by this verse...
"Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect." 1Peter 3:15
I spoke at our woman's Bible Study this past week at church. I shared with them my testimony of what God has done in my life. Now I consider myself a fence rider when it comes to being shy or outgoing. And in nearly every psychology test I have taken I always come up dead in the center. I tend to be a little shy until I get to know people or depending on the situation.
Now I have never been one that has just wanted to jump at the opportunity to speak, and yet sometimes it feels like there is a force behind me pushing me to the front of the stage. The lights are blinding, my voice is cracking and I have some major sweat stains cause I sweat like a man on stage. And yet every time I have ever gotten on a stage to share my testimony with others there comes a peace over me that helps me get through it. The peace never comes before I am on stage, only after I make the choice to get up there and do it.
When I sit down and really think about it, why wouldn't I want to shout from the mountain tops what God has done in my life?! He has told me always to be ready to give an answer.
Why do you have the hope that you have?
Lately I have been struck by this verse...
"Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect." 1Peter 3:15
I spoke at our woman's Bible Study this past week at church. I shared with them my testimony of what God has done in my life. Now I consider myself a fence rider when it comes to being shy or outgoing. And in nearly every psychology test I have taken I always come up dead in the center. I tend to be a little shy until I get to know people or depending on the situation.
Now I have never been one that has just wanted to jump at the opportunity to speak, and yet sometimes it feels like there is a force behind me pushing me to the front of the stage. The lights are blinding, my voice is cracking and I have some major sweat stains cause I sweat like a man on stage. And yet every time I have ever gotten on a stage to share my testimony with others there comes a peace over me that helps me get through it. The peace never comes before I am on stage, only after I make the choice to get up there and do it.
When I sit down and really think about it, why wouldn't I want to shout from the mountain tops what God has done in my life?! He has told me always to be ready to give an answer.
Why do you have the hope that you have?
Monday, April 6, 2009
So close...
When I was in high school I was given a turtle charm and the "Close only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades" award. My summer league relay missed the Houston record by .01 seconds....Seriously. The charm makes my laugh now but what a bummer!
That's kinda what I experienced (again) at the Zones Championship Meet a few weeks ago.
I came real close, but in the end missed my goal of qualifying for Nationals in the 50 free by .05 seconds. Bummer!
On a lighter note, I did place 3rd in the 50 backstroke.
(And missed the qualifying time by 1 second.)
So it wasn't exactly the meet I had hoped it would be but it is not the end of the world. God has a greater plan and I had fun at the meet regardless of the outcome. Thanks for all your encouragement!!!
Still smiling!
That's kinda what I experienced (again) at the Zones Championship Meet a few weeks ago.
I came real close, but in the end missed my goal of qualifying for Nationals in the 50 free by .05 seconds. Bummer!
Here is a photo of me (red cap) with the other swimmers,
(who, with the .05 second lead will get to go to Nationals.)
(who, with the .05 second lead will get to go to Nationals.)
On a lighter note, I did place 3rd in the 50 backstroke.
(And missed the qualifying time by 1 second.)
And it just kept getting better...
Here is me on the blocks getting ready to swim the 100IM,
(just before I got disqualified for false starting)
Without the DQ I would have placed 3rd.
(no laughing at my white legs..and arms...and body)
Here is me on the blocks getting ready to swim the 100IM,
(just before I got disqualified for false starting)
Without the DQ I would have placed 3rd.
(no laughing at my white legs..and arms...and body)
Sweet Gunnar watching his Mama swim.
So it wasn't exactly the meet I had hoped it would be but it is not the end of the world. God has a greater plan and I had fun at the meet regardless of the outcome. Thanks for all your encouragement!!!
Still smiling!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Last Chance
Well I have one more chance to qualify for nationals.
My last meet went well and I dropped some in my times but am still about a 1/2 second away in the 50 free and about a second away in the 50 fly and 50 back. The meet was at SMU and was absolutely freezing. They had the windows open the day before...it was 80 degrees that day. Well they left them open and that night a cold front came through and while driving to the meet that morning my thermometer on my car read 40 degrees. So I get there Saturday morning and the windows are now shut but I don't think they put any heat on. I was freezing! I did warm-ups and tried to get dry and warm before my races. Seriously people, the spectators were in their winter coats WITH THEIR HOODS ON! Thankfully, a few weeks before, I got a parka to keep me warm....but I needed about 5 parkas that day.
The races went well, I was a bit intimidated as the competition was pretty fast....ok really fast...like former Olympian fast. I managed to place 2nd in the 50 backstroke but I am sure that's because the former Olympians did not enter that event!
So anyway, we are down to one last meet in 2 weeks...the zones championship meet. At this point I seriously believe that the only way I will make it is by the grace of God. That may sound pessimistic but let me explain...
This year started off great. In December I had my coach over for lunch one day and we talked about my goals of going to nationals and what that would require of me. Unfortunately, the biggest thing was "get in the water more." Our practices are MWF in the mornings and the others are during lunch. Well, with my kids I can't practice at lunch so that leaves me with 3 a week.
January starts off a little shaky with some serious allergies. I went and got a shot and they got better. Then I had my first meet mentioned in the previous post. It went well but I was not feeling 100%....well I came home and caught the stomach bug which I then followed with a cold. Good times!
Then came the beginning of February...a little cold, no problem still swimming. Then my dad has his hip surgery, so naturally I missed a couple practices while helping them, then he had a stroke and I was out the week helping around their house. Not a huge deal...I was definitely where I needed to be...with family.
Yesterday I go to practice and right after warm-ups thunder and lightning drive us out of the pool. I am now at the laughable stage. What else could possibly happen? But then do I really want to ask that?
Then this past week I get sick AGAIN...stomach bug round 2 followed by a slight cold. Missed 2 days of practice and today I found out I have an ear infection. Seriously? Am I 10 years old? What adult gets an ear infection? I believe the doctor's words were, "Yup, that's a rip-roarin' ear infection." Please don't tell me I can't swim tomorrow.
What else could happen?... two words...spring break. All the pools within a 30 mile radius seemed to be closed next week for spring break. Great for them, bad for me.
So I have made roughly 24 of the 36 available practices to me. And they say a day out of the water takes a week to recover from. neat.
I am beginning to have His peace that there is nothing I can possibly do to make it to Nationals but rely on Him. If I go, it is His will, if I don't make it, it is His will.
The other night I was reading my Bible and praying about all this. He lead me to read in John 3 about the man named Nicodemus who asked how he could be born again. Verse 21 really spoke to me,
"But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God."
My prayers is that whether I qualify or don't that it will be plain for all to see that what has been done, has been done through God.
May He be glorified!
My last meet went well and I dropped some in my times but am still about a 1/2 second away in the 50 free and about a second away in the 50 fly and 50 back. The meet was at SMU and was absolutely freezing. They had the windows open the day before...it was 80 degrees that day. Well they left them open and that night a cold front came through and while driving to the meet that morning my thermometer on my car read 40 degrees. So I get there Saturday morning and the windows are now shut but I don't think they put any heat on. I was freezing! I did warm-ups and tried to get dry and warm before my races. Seriously people, the spectators were in their winter coats WITH THEIR HOODS ON! Thankfully, a few weeks before, I got a parka to keep me warm....but I needed about 5 parkas that day.
The races went well, I was a bit intimidated as the competition was pretty fast....ok really fast...like former Olympian fast. I managed to place 2nd in the 50 backstroke but I am sure that's because the former Olympians did not enter that event!
So anyway, we are down to one last meet in 2 weeks...the zones championship meet. At this point I seriously believe that the only way I will make it is by the grace of God. That may sound pessimistic but let me explain...
This year started off great. In December I had my coach over for lunch one day and we talked about my goals of going to nationals and what that would require of me. Unfortunately, the biggest thing was "get in the water more." Our practices are MWF in the mornings and the others are during lunch. Well, with my kids I can't practice at lunch so that leaves me with 3 a week.
January starts off a little shaky with some serious allergies. I went and got a shot and they got better. Then I had my first meet mentioned in the previous post. It went well but I was not feeling 100%....well I came home and caught the stomach bug which I then followed with a cold. Good times!
Then came the beginning of February...a little cold, no problem still swimming. Then my dad has his hip surgery, so naturally I missed a couple practices while helping them, then he had a stroke and I was out the week helping around their house. Not a huge deal...I was definitely where I needed to be...with family.
Yesterday I go to practice and right after warm-ups thunder and lightning drive us out of the pool. I am now at the laughable stage. What else could possibly happen? But then do I really want to ask that?
Then this past week I get sick AGAIN...stomach bug round 2 followed by a slight cold. Missed 2 days of practice and today I found out I have an ear infection. Seriously? Am I 10 years old? What adult gets an ear infection? I believe the doctor's words were, "Yup, that's a rip-roarin' ear infection." Please don't tell me I can't swim tomorrow.
What else could happen?... two words...spring break. All the pools within a 30 mile radius seemed to be closed next week for spring break. Great for them, bad for me.
So I have made roughly 24 of the 36 available practices to me. And they say a day out of the water takes a week to recover from. neat.
I am beginning to have His peace that there is nothing I can possibly do to make it to Nationals but rely on Him. If I go, it is His will, if I don't make it, it is His will.
The other night I was reading my Bible and praying about all this. He lead me to read in John 3 about the man named Nicodemus who asked how he could be born again. Verse 21 really spoke to me,
"But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God."
My prayers is that whether I qualify or don't that it will be plain for all to see that what has been done, has been done through God.
May He be glorified!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Fully Alive
St. Irenaeus once said, "The glory of God is man fully alive."
God has been teaching me alot the past two years about what this really means. Can I really worship Him in the things that give life to my heart like photography, art, swimming and being a wife and mom?
What does that look like?
I am finding out.
For a long time I have prayed for simple things like, "God help me to do well at this swim meet, help me to have a good photo shoot today, help me to worship you while I do the mundane like changing diapers, eating grilled cheese for the 5th time this week, and picking boogers that are not my own."
But I don't think my heart has ever been in these prayers.
I wanted it to be, but deep down inside I thought, "What in the world does God care if I swim well today? Why should he care about helping me?...meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless."
I know this all sounds very pessimistic. I'd like to think it originates from the challenges that life has brought me. It is very difficult to pray one day that your mother will not die from cancer and then to ask God that you will do well in a swim meet... Really? Did I just pray that? Who cares?
So you see, my heart has been hardened and frozen into this belief that while God does care about the big things in life, He certainly doesn't have time for piddly things like swimming or me whining that I have been cleaning up throw up for the past 10 days now. (*true story...and I am in fact doped up on Mucinex and Pepto at the time of this post so you may want to keep that in mind when you are trying to make sense of it all.)
Well I was trying to explain this war in my heart to Shane the other night. On the one hand, I want to ask God to bless me in swimming, on the other I don't really think He cares. Shane reminded me how our Father truly sees us. He asked me what I would say if our daughter came to me for encouragement for a swim meet that she had coming up. Would I simply tell her that I don't care and I have more important things to take care of? No way, I would encourage her and tell her that she can do it!
Humm...good point Shane. Maybe I don't get this love thing after all. I want so badly to grasp His love for me. I think it would help me to be fully alive in all that I do.
So all that said, God is teaching me alot about the depths of His love and how it is His love that brings life to my heart.
Speaking of...
This past weekend I had my first swim meet in 10 years.
I was nervous to say the least. I knew the drill...the smell of chlorine, warm ups, racing, cool down, ugly caps, goggles sucking my eyes out, freezing, the waiting, hundreds of speedos...there wasn't much that was new to me. But I was terrified of failure.
Still am.
I have not posted about the meet on here because of the accountability (read pressure) it would provide. What if I tell the world my goals and then don't meet them? What are my goals really? To make a certain time or to glorify God in swimming and do it to the best of my ability?
My goals for the physical side of swimming is to qualify for the nationals masters meet. It is within reason, and yet I am terrified of revealing my intent lest I come up short....but well its a little late for that now isn't it!
I have 3 meets that are close enough to compete in...3 chances to make my goal...scratch that...2 now.
My friend Betsy and I went down for the meet. We were both suffering from terrible colds (although she was a day worse into it than I was...but hers has not morphed into this on again, off again flu/stomach bug nastiness...see "true story" above)
We both did well....especially considering we were not 100%. I am now .5 seconds from the qualifying time in the 50 free....two more chances to go, one in February and one in March.
Betsy and I after my 50 fly event.
I'm pretty sure she is majorly doped up on meds in this photo and will therefore think I am the coolest friend ever for posting it.
I think the best part of the meet for me was seeing a 70 year old lady swim the 50 breaststroke WAY faster than I could ever dream of. 70 years old people and she could whoop my booty! She broke the NATIONAL record in her event and age group that day. My heart rejoiced for her...Awesome stuff. And all this time I thought He was going to give my heart more life from my own events...I didn't expect it would be from a lady who could be my grandmother.
...Finding His life in all the unexpected places...
God has been teaching me alot the past two years about what this really means. Can I really worship Him in the things that give life to my heart like photography, art, swimming and being a wife and mom?
What does that look like?
I am finding out.
For a long time I have prayed for simple things like, "God help me to do well at this swim meet, help me to have a good photo shoot today, help me to worship you while I do the mundane like changing diapers, eating grilled cheese for the 5th time this week, and picking boogers that are not my own."
But I don't think my heart has ever been in these prayers.
I wanted it to be, but deep down inside I thought, "What in the world does God care if I swim well today? Why should he care about helping me?...meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless."
I know this all sounds very pessimistic. I'd like to think it originates from the challenges that life has brought me. It is very difficult to pray one day that your mother will not die from cancer and then to ask God that you will do well in a swim meet... Really? Did I just pray that? Who cares?
So you see, my heart has been hardened and frozen into this belief that while God does care about the big things in life, He certainly doesn't have time for piddly things like swimming or me whining that I have been cleaning up throw up for the past 10 days now. (*true story...and I am in fact doped up on Mucinex and Pepto at the time of this post so you may want to keep that in mind when you are trying to make sense of it all.)
Well I was trying to explain this war in my heart to Shane the other night. On the one hand, I want to ask God to bless me in swimming, on the other I don't really think He cares. Shane reminded me how our Father truly sees us. He asked me what I would say if our daughter came to me for encouragement for a swim meet that she had coming up. Would I simply tell her that I don't care and I have more important things to take care of? No way, I would encourage her and tell her that she can do it!
Humm...good point Shane. Maybe I don't get this love thing after all. I want so badly to grasp His love for me. I think it would help me to be fully alive in all that I do.
So all that said, God is teaching me alot about the depths of His love and how it is His love that brings life to my heart.
Speaking of...
This past weekend I had my first swim meet in 10 years.
I was nervous to say the least. I knew the drill...the smell of chlorine, warm ups, racing, cool down, ugly caps, goggles sucking my eyes out, freezing, the waiting, hundreds of speedos...there wasn't much that was new to me. But I was terrified of failure.
Still am.
I have not posted about the meet on here because of the accountability (read pressure) it would provide. What if I tell the world my goals and then don't meet them? What are my goals really? To make a certain time or to glorify God in swimming and do it to the best of my ability?
My goals for the physical side of swimming is to qualify for the nationals masters meet. It is within reason, and yet I am terrified of revealing my intent lest I come up short....but well its a little late for that now isn't it!
I have 3 meets that are close enough to compete in...3 chances to make my goal...scratch that...2 now.
My friend Betsy and I went down for the meet. We were both suffering from terrible colds (although she was a day worse into it than I was...but hers has not morphed into this on again, off again flu/stomach bug nastiness...see "true story" above)
We both did well....especially considering we were not 100%. I am now .5 seconds from the qualifying time in the 50 free....two more chances to go, one in February and one in March.
Getting ready for the 50 free....got my game face on
Betsy and I after my 50 fly event.
I'm pretty sure she is majorly doped up on meds in this photo and will therefore think I am the coolest friend ever for posting it.
I think the best part of the meet for me was seeing a 70 year old lady swim the 50 breaststroke WAY faster than I could ever dream of. 70 years old people and she could whoop my booty! She broke the NATIONAL record in her event and age group that day. My heart rejoiced for her...Awesome stuff. And all this time I thought He was going to give my heart more life from my own events...I didn't expect it would be from a lady who could be my grandmother.
...Finding His life in all the unexpected places...
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Greater Things
I don't know why but sometimes I feel like God is not working in me, kinda like he's left me. I know he hasn't, his word says he hasn't and yet sometimes I take a reflective look at my heart and I don't like what I see...too impatient, too ugly, too self-righteous, too prideful. Can't he do more with this heart? I see changes he has made but I want more. And then I go through a dry spell where I can't seem to hear him through the static of this world.
Well the other day I was driving in my car with the two kiddos and I felt like God said, "Ok Karen, this next song that comes on I want you to change the words to daughter instead." I thought, "hum.... don't know what song it is or what this will mean but ok, God...I'll play along."
Then I hear Chris Tomlin's new song, God of this City. I love this song. The original lyrics are about God being the God of this city and nation. I don't know why this song means to much to me. I remember the first time I heard it. Some good friends of ours came to visit who are missionaries in Brazil. They told us how they had just seen Chris Tomlin in concert in Brazil and how he sang this amazing song called "God of this City". So I looked it up on iTunes later and fell in love with it. I really can't explain why I love this song so much, maybe it is the comfort in remembering that God is still God of this world, no matter how crazy it gets, or maybe its my heart for missions too. All I know is when this song comes on in the car I have a tendency to belt it out. :)
So here I am in the car and this song comes on and I'm supposed to change the lyrics to daughter....so here goes...picture me in the car with both kids in the back, timidly singing at first...then louder and louder. By the end of the song, I'm belting it with tears streaming as God speaks to my heart right in that moment.
You're the God of this daughter
You're the King of this woman
You're the Lord of this family
You are
[Verse 2]
You're the Light in my darkness
You're the Hope to my hopeless
You're the Peace to my restless
You are
There is no one like my God
There is no one like my God
[Chorus]
For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this daughter
Greater thing have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this daughter
There is no one like my God
There is no one like my God
[Chorus]
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this daughter
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done here
Tears and more tears as God sweetly reminds me that He is not through with me yet. I am humbled to know that the God of this universe cares enough to speak to me through a song and let me know how much he loves me and that he is not through with me yet.
P.S. So I just realized how many times I have posted lyrics here. Hum...sorry if that's a boring read...I just can't help myself sometimes. My heart is moved so often by lyrics and music.
Well the other day I was driving in my car with the two kiddos and I felt like God said, "Ok Karen, this next song that comes on I want you to change the words to daughter instead." I thought, "hum.... don't know what song it is or what this will mean but ok, God...I'll play along."
Then I hear Chris Tomlin's new song, God of this City. I love this song. The original lyrics are about God being the God of this city and nation. I don't know why this song means to much to me. I remember the first time I heard it. Some good friends of ours came to visit who are missionaries in Brazil. They told us how they had just seen Chris Tomlin in concert in Brazil and how he sang this amazing song called "God of this City". So I looked it up on iTunes later and fell in love with it. I really can't explain why I love this song so much, maybe it is the comfort in remembering that God is still God of this world, no matter how crazy it gets, or maybe its my heart for missions too. All I know is when this song comes on in the car I have a tendency to belt it out. :)
So here I am in the car and this song comes on and I'm supposed to change the lyrics to daughter....so here goes...picture me in the car with both kids in the back, timidly singing at first...then louder and louder. By the end of the song, I'm belting it with tears streaming as God speaks to my heart right in that moment.
You're the God of this daughter
You're the King of this woman
You're the Lord of this family
You are
[Verse 2]
You're the Light in my darkness
You're the Hope to my hopeless
You're the Peace to my restless
You are
There is no one like my God
There is no one like my God
[Chorus]
For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this daughter
Greater thing have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this daughter
There is no one like my God
There is no one like my God
[Chorus]
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this daughter
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done here
Tears and more tears as God sweetly reminds me that He is not through with me yet. I am humbled to know that the God of this universe cares enough to speak to me through a song and let me know how much he loves me and that he is not through with me yet.
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done here!
And greater things are still to be done here!
P.S. So I just realized how many times I have posted lyrics here. Hum...sorry if that's a boring read...I just can't help myself sometimes. My heart is moved so often by lyrics and music.
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